I remember taking a job assessment test during Home Economics in 5th grade. The results of my questionnaire concluded that the most suitable workplace for a future worker of my requisites would be that of one residing within the vocation of "Interior Design." Go ahead. Make your jokes. Some of you may be whispering amongst yourselves "Oh I've known all along." Or something along the lines of "Isn't it obvious" or "The boy always seemed a bit off..." Well HAHA! The Capital of the World NEW YORK ruled that being "a bit off is fine by us" and that I can marry whomever I so choose! Go NEW YORK!
If only I were "a bit off." My chances of finding love would nearly double. Odds are I could marry, procure a child or two, spend lot's of money, buy a house, work hard, drink harder, fall out of love, get a divorce, spend alot more money, possibly repeat. But I digress.
I remember seeing "Stay At Home Mom" as an actual job title. I also remember thinking "what kind of shit is that?" When the fuck was this "test" drawn up? And then, being 12, I also thought Bullshit! I want that fucking job!* In a court of law they'll argue that you have to read the fine print. Dude, at fucking 12 years old there ain't no fucking fine print! (Although, there could very well be now, as I am no longer 12 I am a bit out of the loop, so to speak.) Job assessment test my ass. Another game for the kids to play 'cause ol' teach is too hungover to lift her snout out of her coffee mug.
Jump ahead 20 some-odd years. Met a girl. With a kid. The best ever in the entire fucking world...the kid, not so much the... relationship with mommy.
Long story...shortened.
So why the fuck didn't anyone tell me that "Parenting" would be the most difficult job in the world???
...to be continued,
gII
*yes, I cursed just as much at age 12 as I do now. Perhaps more. Ask my sister, she threatened to tell our parents! Ha, did you think I'd forget?
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