Not Enough Leaves

Just as spring arises from the last vestiges of winter
And Her rebirth begins
I long for our love to rekindle and ignite
That which has laid dormant for too long
If each blossoming Sunflower could fill your heart with love
And every new leaf could cast a shadow over ever wrong
I've done, I would wish for an overflowing bed of Sunflowers
And for an endless grove of Oaks
In hope that one day you could again love me
If each fresh blade of grass were another day with you
And if at every dusk, when the sun sinks just a little bit slower
low the horizon, could extend those days just a little bit longer
Then I would wish for boundless fields of grass
And for every day to rise in late June
If only your love could change like the seasons
Than maybe your trust could explain a reason
to love me.

Antisocial: Nothing personal

     I don't like people.  In general and more often than not in person as well.  It's not a matter of what they feel I need to be told but rather why they feel I'm the one to be told of such things.  Look, I could really care less about what you wish to tell me.  And 9 times out of 10 I do.  Care less that is.  Though I never actually counted.  More likely it's 10 out of 10 but color me generous.  Believe it or not I'm not a bad person.  (well, not too much really...and depending on who you talk to, they may have deserved it...  or not.  I do feel horrible about those who did not.) 

     On occasion I do succumb to the blabberings of that random individual behind the counter, or standing beside me at the counter, or on the other side of my counter, and I smile and sometimes laugh.  When I do it's mostly genuine.  Perhaps I may convey my own lame observation.  Unless I'm working.  Then the initial laugh is real but the response winds up becoming some forced cliche, not wanting or being able to say what's really on my mind. 

     It's not because I feel that I'm better than everyone else.  Quite the contrary.  I think that rather everyone thinks they are better than me.  And while many people surely are more "successful" human beings than I, or at least according to what our society deems the standard, we're all in the same fucking boat!  I have no idea the problems and circumstances surrounding your existence.  And you don't know mine.  So who the fuck are you to analyze and criticize my decisions in regards to my life, something you know nothing about.  Yet, we can't help ourselves, can we?  We all become experts when it comes to breaking down the actions of others trying to find cause and reason.  When will we learn that our initial assumptions are almost always wrong?  Unfortunately, probably never.  I don't want to call myself diplomatic.  I ain't never gonna receive "diplomatic immunity" for any crime I committed...(is that a double negative? hmm, maybe I will then...fuck, alright.  I may have a chance.)  But all I'm trying to say is if you don't approach things with an open mind and reserve judgment before all the facts are known, how the hell do ever expect to grow and mature?  You don't know everything, you never will.  And don't tell me that you know "enough."  There's so much to experience out there that you could never possibly know "enough"!  

     Life's a piece of shit.  It doesn't have to be.  Get off your lazy ass and do something about it.  Anything.  Stop waiting around for someone else to change your world.  In the end, the only one that is there for you is you.  Life sucks and you're to blame...

     Harsh words?  Definitely.  So what the fuck are you gonna do about it? 

     Probably nothing, just like the rest of us...

gII